Dear humans, I would first like to thank you for taking me into your home and treating me like one of your own. That being said, I have a couple of requests to make that would turn our okay house into a dog’s absolute doggy dream house!
Firstly, the life of a dog can be pretty tiring. I mean the amount of time we spend bringing back toys to humans who continue to through them far away is crazy! You’d think their arm would get tired after a while. The walks, the tug of war, the effort put into begging for one small piece of food really takes the fuel out of a dog like me. When humans go to bed they get luxurious fluffy beds to lay in, but us dogs get the smelly dirty old floor. I understand to some 8 hours on the floor, by themselves, in complete silence and darkness may seem like a luxury, but me personally…not feeling it. So I propose a revamping of my current sleep situation, below there are a couple options of beds that would allow me to live the doggy dream you could say.
A room of my very own, complete with a welcome matt and dog bed and all my favorite toys would really make a dog feel loved.
It’s no secret that I like to stay close to you guys, and the night can seem long and even scary when I”m laying all by myself. That’s why I propose this elevated dog bed that allows me to stay close to you without taking up any room in your bed. I promise I won’t howl, or bark, or run in my sleep, it’ll be like I’m not even there; promise.
There is nothing I love more than our family movie time. After you all get done with whatever you humans spend so much time doing Monday through Friday and we get to cuddle up to watch our favorite shows. I love it more than when I get the leftover peanut butter in the peanut butter jar, but it always ends with you upset about all the fur on the couch, so I found this one just for you! It’s a dog bed that can slide out from under the couch, this way we can still have our movie nights and you can still sit on the couch without getting fur all over your everything! Win-win right?
Okay so I think this technically qualifies as more of a dog sofa then a dog bed, but when we all gather around the TV at night, I feel like everyone in the family has a designated place to sit except me. Everyone has their spot on the couch or their recliner so I was thinking I should have my Spot as well. Below I attached a link to a place where we could purchase me my designated piece of furniture, a sofa of my very own. It’s only fair.
The only thing more important to us dogs than sleep is food. Any food you give me I’ll eat, any food you drop I’ll eat, anything you make regardless of sanitization I’ll eat, and I’ll say it one more time for the dogs in the back, I will eat anything. You’ll always get a 5-star Yelp review from me. This means that my doggy dream home should be stacked with homemade dog treats. I mean I’m a good boy, don’t I deserve these treats?
Doggy donuts. If your mouth didn’t water reading that then you probably didn’t read it right, or maybe your just not a dog. Regardless, I, as a dog, really would like these… in my mouth….right now.
Yogurt peanut butter banana homemade dog treats. A doggy dream snack some may call it. If I had thumbs maybe I’d make them myself, but until then I NEED you to help me out!
Frosty breath dog treats. Now depending on how you look at this one, it could be a treat for you too. I mean not a treat you’d eat, but you humans are always talking about our dog breathe and how bad it is (which is kinda rude not gonna lie), so maybe it could be considered a treat for your nose.
Besides our house, the majority of my time is spent out in our yard. Which, don’t get me wrong we have a pretty great yard, but there is always room for improvement in the doggy dream world. I’ve done some research and found a couple possible additions that could turn us into the #1 dog hangout spot of the year.
You know what’s a great way to relax the muscles after a long walk or day at the park; a bath. I have this feeling I wouldn’t be very welcomed to join you while you’re in the tub so I was thinking maybe I should get one of my own. There’s nothing wrong with an overly clean dog now is there?
Using the restroom is just a natural part of life for all forms of life, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be enjoyable. I know this seems a little excessive for a place to relieve myself, but sitting on the toilet for 30 minutes on your phone could be considered a little excessive as well, so let’s keep our judgments to ourselves. Besides I’m sure you guys are tired of me staining the grass anyhow and this would be the perfect way to keep your grass green all year long.
Can we take a minute, close your eyes and imagine every time you enter or exit the house, having to climb through a tiny window. Not the most enjoyable form of movement, huh? Well us dogs have to do that all day every day. What’s wrong with a dog wanting to enter and exit his home with a little class, is it really that much to ask?
The best thing the backyard could have is a window to the outside world. My world consists of the house, the front yard, and the backyard which after a while starts to feel a little small. A window like the one I found below really makes everything feel more open to a dog.
There isn’t any clear category to list all of my further additions under, but nevertheless, they are all crucial to the success of my personal doggy dream home.
Want to know what is one of the worst parts about being a dog, other than the obvious lack of thumb fingers? It’s not being able to use the bathroom when your body decided it’s time to use the bathroom. You couldn’t imagine how long I’ve held it, sitting in front of the door, waiting for one, just one human to come open the door. Well, I have found a resolution to this issue. Please consider this one greatly from me and your carpets.
Do you ever feel like you just need some you time? Well, this may come as a surprise, but I do too! Sometimes I need a nice nap to rest off all the stress in my doggy life, but there is no place in the house that I can go and just be closed off. Each of you humans have your room and I guess I’m looking for something like that. Below I found a way for you to turn my cage into not only a nice piece of furniture but also a nice quiet corner for me to rest! Sounds like a positive for both of us!
Okay so here’s the thing, hot showers sounds amazing. I understand that this is an expensive investment to make for your dog, but I think you’ll love the benefits of it just as much as I’ll love resting in it. Okay so no one has ever complained about a clean dog, and if you get me those sweet smelling bottles from the pet store I won’t just look good I’ll smell good. Then you’ll be able to walk me around the neighborhood with your head held high because you have the cleanest dog in town, now doesn’t that sound appealing? What Ii’m saying is…please?
Do you wanna know why us dogs are bad when you’re gone? It’s because we have no reason to be good. If we’re good while your home we get a treat, but if we’re good when you’re gone…nothing. That’s why this genius man thought to have an automatic treat dispenser controlled by his phone so he can reward his dog for being good even when he’s gone. I bet he doesn’t come home to chaos.
I will eat just about anything regardless of how sanitary it is, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy eating uncivilized. Sometimes getting my dry, flavorless, pellets in a classy presentation would be nice. Here’s where I introduce the cool thing I found: my dog bowls in a drawer. I know so simple yet so fancy.
So all of these things are great, and yes they would make our home much more exciting and comfortable for me, but none of this really makes a house a doggy dream home. When I really think about it, it’s you guys, my humans that complete my doggy dream home. So I guess as long as I have you I don’t need the treat launchers, the hot tub, or the handmade treats. As far as I am concerned you’re the most important addition to my dream home. I guess there’s a reason we call your dog’s best friend!
From, Your best friend